What Do We Do About Screen Time?

Screen time, how much is too much? What is the right age to give your child a smartphone? How much freedom do we give our children? So many questions, no concrete answers.

Bill Gates recently stated in an article that his children do not get smartphones until they are 14. Oops, I wish I knew that sooner. I finally allowed my daughter to have one when she entered the 6th grade, and she was still the last of her friends. Apple is now talking about making apps that limit smartphone use to help curb the addictive element of screen time because studies show that screen time is addictive. Now you tell us!!!! Too bad there wasn't an age limit put on smartphone/tablet use like there is for driving, entering certain movies, drinking, etc. At least it would have given us parents some time to process how to navigate early adolescence and technology. Instead, we are now stuck with just using our best judgement. Uhgggg!!!

That being said, how do we judge what is best? First, let's look at what some new research says. One article I read said: "Don't give your child a smartphone." Too late for that (for many of us) and not very realistic, but let's look at the why. Cyberbullying, easy access to pornography, the trend of nude selfies, suicide posts, and the lurking pedophiles are examples. Did you know that one in seven youth internet users received unwanted sexual solicitations? Studies have also shown a link between too much screen time and an increase in depression, suicide rates, ADHD, obesity, and poorer school performance. All great reasons not to conform and give our children smartphones and/or tablets, let them engage in gaming, and/or go on social media.

Yet, none of these reasons are stopping us from giving our children devices that can access everything evil in this world. The counterargument is that these devices also allow our children to access everything that is good in this world as well. They can help adolescents feel a sense of belonging and connection to others they may not have without social media. Certain games like Minecraft give children a sense of accomplishment when they complete a building. Tools like Instagram and YouTube allow kids to show off their creativity and talent. Unfortunately, for every pro to technological devices and children, I can also name a con.

Although, as a parent and psychologist, I am less "pro" smartphones and tablets for children, I do understand the need (which is why my husband and I finally gave in). That being said, the greatest advice I can provide is this:

• Make technology rules early on and make them household rules for all the kids with devices. It is much easier to loosen the reigns than tighten them as children mature.

• Don't wait until you find your child up all night watching Netflix to take the tablet out of their room.

• Don't wait until you find nude selfies of your child on social media to talk to them about the dangers of social media.

• Don't wait until your child is being cyberbullied before you ask for their password.

• If you wouldn't allow a certain friend or someone of the opposite sex in your child's room past a certain hour or with the door closed, the rule should be the same with FaceTime.

We talk to our children about drugs early on, we have rules for bedtime, homework, and curfews. It is just as important to instill limits and rules for technology. Those rules should be adjusted as your child matures just the same as their curfews and allowance do.

Every child is different, as is every family. That being said, allowing phones, tablets, TVs, or other devices in a child's room past a certain time can lead to problematic behavior. We need to took at technology from a new point of view. We need to understand the dangers of screen time and allow our children to use these new devices in moderation and not with blank abundance.

For more guidelines regarding recommended age and technology use, check out this great CNN piece. please refer to the article below.

How do you manage screen time in your house?